Embracing Life's Thresholds: Moving Beyond Just "Getting Through It"

Understanding Thresholds:

In our journey through life, we encounter thresholds – moments of transition and transformation that challenge us, push our boundaries, and help us embrace the messy and imperfect aspects of being human, allowing us to become real, vulnerable, and alive … if we accept the invitation.

Thresholds represent the liminal spaces where we stand between what was and what will be. If we risk walking through these doors we will meet our fears, vulnerabilities, and shame. But we also have the opportunity to shed old patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve us well. In this blog post, we will delve into the significance of thresholds in life and how therapy can optimize the power they hold for genuine transformation.

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Courage for Crossing Into:

Thresholds are opportunities marked by joy (births, first steps, graduations, weddings, retirement, etc); but often they are situations which were not presenting themselves to us (feeling stuck in a dead-end job, experiencing prolonged singleness when you long for partner to share life with, failure of an entrance or licensure exam, being passed over for a promotion, relationship rifts, dealing with wounds from childhood, being faced with infertility, betrayal, cancer, or loss of someone you held dear).

We often choose the path of least resistance, if there is one, attempting to avoid sorrow, suffering, and the haze of unfamiliar territory we encounter when we even approach the door that holds our current threshold, let alone walk through it.

We search for the quick-fix and seek clear-cut answers that can provide us certainty of what lies ahead. Crossing thresholds will bring us face to face with the uncertainties of change but are also where seeds of growth are sown.

Therapy helps people learn how to identify and live into resources they have within them, enabling them to enter into and navigate unchartered territories, face challenges long avoided, and feel not so utterly alone in the process.

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Thresholds as Gift - Healing by Perceiving the World Through a Lens of Truth:

The concept of thresholds as gift, is not new. Celtic Christianity, a distinct form of Christianity developed in the British Isles during the early Middle Ages, has its own unique characteristics and practices distinct from the more prevalent Roman Christianity. Jessica Brown, in her exploration of Celtic Christianity, writes, “Thresholds hold the potential for profound change. They are doorways between old and new, safety and risk, what was and what will be … places of initiation and transformation, where the old is released, and the new is embraced.”

At times the journey can be confusing, grueling, disorienting, and sometimes feels unbearable. It requires digging deep to grasp hold of an internal grit and determination we didn’t even know we were capable of. This is a process of ‘unknowing’ who you thought you were and realizing truths about yourself previously in the shadows. In the words of renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung,

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‍“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

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‍The thresholds we encounter in life often bring us face-to face with our shadow selves – the aspects of our personality and psyche that we tend to hide, repress, or deny. These shadow elements hold immense power and influence over our lives, shaping our behaviors, relationships, and overall well-being.

Ultimately, this is a process of unknowing who you thought you were and realizing truths about yourself and the ways you view the world around you.  The process of going through, unknowing, and becoming, lands you in a place of greater freedom to show up in the world with authenticity, less about obsessed with what others think, less need to avoid, or control, because you know your story and your worth, and you know you are in process.

An ability to hold that if you could, you would do some things in the past differently, that you will do, or say things in the future as well, that you will likely look back on and wish you would have done differently – its an ability to “just be” and experience inner rest and freedom which allows for more risk to venture into the new and experience aliveness.

We become more attuned to our authentic desires, values, and needs. This heightened awareness allows us to build deeper connections with ourselves and others and experience life more fully.

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Embracing Thresholds –What’s Required?

Embracing thresholds requires an intentional surrender to the “going through” process, which often involves some level of discomfort. Our bodies are hardwired to survive; avoiding discomfort is a survival skill.

What is your drug of choice to avoid pain – drugs, alcohol, work, food, social media, phone/video games, keeping your social calendar full, volunteering, sex, money, power, control, control…?  Shifting our perspective from merely "getting through" difficulties to engaging with them as sacred spaces where we can come face to face with the reality of who we really are, name the fears, the losses, the hard, the sad, and grieve, letting the pain do its transformative work to change us, realize the relentless beauty and relentless suffering of life growing in us an ability to be more present to the moment we are in, more tender, flexible, and grow us into more present, more tender,

Endurance required intentional care and support both from us and others.  As Brene Brown is known for saying,

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‍“Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” (Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, andLead)

Embracing Thresholds as Sacred Spaces:

Richard Rohr, a spiritual teacher and author, offers profound insights into the transformative power of thresholds. Drawing from the wisdom of Celtic Christianity, Rohr encourages us to view thresholds as sacred spaces where the ordinary meets the extraordinary.

These liminal spaces invite us to embrace uncertainty, relinquish control, and open ourselves to the mysteries of life. In therapy, clients can be guided to perceive their thresholds not as obstacles to overcome but as gateways to deeper self-awareness and spiritual growth. By honoring the inherent sacredness of these moments, individuals can approach therapy with a mindset of curiosity, courage, and surrender.

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Jessica Brown: Celtic Christianity and the Gift of Thresholds:

Jessica Brown, an advocate of Celtic Christianity, explores the ancient wisdom of the Celtic tradition and its emphasis on thresholds. Their perspective offers valuable guidance for individuals in therapy, as they navigate their own personal thresholds. By recognizing the inherent gifts within these liminal spaces, such as increased self-awareness, resilience, and a deepened connection to self and others, individuals can find purpose and meaning in their healing journeys. In the children's book "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams, we find another poignant quote:

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"Real isn't how you are made; it's a thing that happens to you."

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Therapy allows us to shed the layers of pretense and societal expectations, revealing our authentic selves. It helps us embrace the messy and imperfect aspects of being human, allowing us to become real, vulnerable, and alive.

Therapy provides the compass and support we need to navigate these uncharted territories, helping us cross over and go through the thresholds of life. Through therapy, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, develop meaningful connections with others, and perceive the world through a lens rooted in truth. As we dare to explore the darkness within, embrace our vulnerabilities, and open ourselves to healing, we discover the infinite potential for growth and transformation that resides within each of us.

Thresholds represent significant transitions, challenges, and opportunities for personal transformation. While these moments can be daunting, therapy serves as a vital tool to guide us through these thresholds, allowing us to navigate the crossing over and going through process with grace and insight. Rather than merely surviving life's challenges, therapy invites us to embark on a transformative journey, where we can unravel the mysteries of our inner selves and connect authentically with the world around us.

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Conclusion:

Thresholds in our lives offer powerful opportunities for growth, healing, and transformation. helps leads to greater freedom, resiliency, and joy.

Surrendering to the ‘going through’ process instead of near killing ourselves in exhausting and self-sabotaging efforts to avoid or control them, leads to discovering new aspects of ourselves and our world and a capacity to know we are in an ever-becoming process, able to offer ourselves grace, compassion, and love, freeing the Self to offer the same to the face of the one standing before us. This is hospitality, a hospitality as a follower of The Way of Jesus, my personal faith tradition, I am freed by; but it’s a calling and responsibility of being human, being real, being kind, and making the most out of this life we have the privilege of living.

Therapy provides a safe and supportive space for this exploration. As we confront and integrate our experiences, we shed old narratives, beliefs, and patterns that no longer serve us. This shift in perception allows us to embrace our authenticity and live more fully. May we all approach our thresholds with courage, openness, and a willingness to embrace the profound gift of transformation that lies within them.

By embracing our vulnerabilities and engaging in the therapeutic process, we uncover the truth within ourselves and discover our unique place in the tapestry of existence.

Therapy serves as a sacred space where we can honor our thresholds, cross through the doorway of change, and embrace the unknown with courage and hope.

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